Moodless

i don't know what to say. Today when i woke up i ji dao heard a xi bei sadness thingy and my tears start to drop abit and heng i control it. i this few weeks before sleep think many past thingy keep ly on bed roll and look at my wall for 2hours or more den that den can sleep. sleep awhile wake up suddenly think of her. make me drop tears non stop.
Why some people cannot born just like a human being? why human cannot just be like human lehs? why born out got weirdweird stuff??? i everytime look at my parts of my body i really dam moodless like fcuking hell and dont know what to comments. i keep tryin to smile to myself when i saw some of my parts of body and i know is retarded right but bo bian i dont wanna drop my tears anymore but i noe i cant do it. i really damn envy other people lor. i really still dont know why am i born out into this world. fucking god , go die la hor or make me disappear in this world.