back to normal

yo hello all (: happy christmas day. hahas, hope u all happy with your own couple (: but when i just now woke up. i heard a awful words telling me, lets be friend back, cause she just cant forget her ex but i what to do? also cannot force her to be back with me ma. but nevermind. you happy jiu hao le. (:

10 days more.

Hello all, wa so long never update my blog le. how you guys?
hope you all are having fun. i 10 more days to enlistment to NS. hais. sometime i just wanna to know why i just find a simple relationship that i love? why i cant be like other couple so sweet and lovely?

Hello all (:

Today i sleep for the whole day. never eat from morning to midnight . hahas erm miss my parents sia they at genting right now. LOLs. time to give up already (:
Erm me soon going to NS in less then 2 months . hahas finally sia. All my buddy friend i'm going to join you all in NS already. woohoo (:
wow no more sadness post le. hahas good right me

Tired

Time passes really really fast, now is November already yet i still cant forget about her in my mind. How i really wish that i don't have a heart that keeps me alive thinking those sadness past. All this 6 months i been thinking and thinking about you and my own problem i know is stupid but what to do? I really fucking dam regret of doing or saying those things to you, and i know you wont come back to me anymore. You know what? from 8th may 7.30pm to 10th may is my first time go Malaysia and i really miss you dam alot. and u wrote a small notes for me and behind wrote don't break with you ): , how i wish i really can die. zhen de hen tong ku ni zhi dao ma? i few more months and weeks i going to NS le i will miss you deadly. I really need you back but i know answer is cannot but nevermind. Thanks for the day that you given me pei-ing me and
You asked me this question before 'Hais do you still love me?' and i already know the answer when you haven say out. Time to fade you will fade. Time to give up you will give up. Time to say good bye to me i will say good bye to you first. i really miss you badly. hais really envy that guy that be with you right now. jealous and hurt = DIE! >,<

TheStory

Now already 5.20am in the morning but i still post,

TheStory : When i was in secondary school i already think of commit suicide. dont ask me why, only some of my friends know why. Hmmm when i was in sec 2 i don't know what is love until sec 4 graduated den slowly understand what is love but still not sure, until i met a girl that live near me which i met her on East Coast Park and she is the one brighten my day up when i feel sick lonely and sad plus she is the girl who thought me and gave me what real love is. Until now my mindset still all about her, is already 5mths yet i still cant forget about her. i really regretted what i had done in the past to you ,etc never treat u well or ...... , but i know now no use of saying it, cause u got boyfriend now, but i still wanna to said thanks for the 4mths we been together, hoping you will come back, but i know is impossible, its alright. but I'm really happy for you that you got boyfriend le. hahas, last long with him ba. i have nothing to say le.
thanks for taking care of me when we are at JP last time when I'm dizzy + sickness. and 9.56pm the show is the first time you came to my house watch the show after that pei you go home. hais, nevermind takecare my lover, hope u happy everyday. don't study so much when you got headache and rest well plus relax more often (: . I'm finally happy le Yeah hahas ;D

Moodless

i don't know what to say. Today when i woke up i ji dao heard a xi bei sadness thingy and my tears start to drop abit and heng i control it. i this few weeks before sleep think many past thingy keep ly on bed roll and look at my wall for 2hours or more den that den can sleep. sleep awhile wake up suddenly think of her. make me drop tears non stop.
Why some people cannot born just like a human being? why human cannot just be like human lehs? why born out got weirdweird stuff??? i everytime look at my parts of my body i really dam moodless like fcuking hell and dont know what to comments. i keep tryin to smile to myself when i saw some of my parts of body and i know is retarded right but bo bian i dont wanna drop my tears anymore but i noe i cant do it. i really damn envy other people lor. i really still dont know why am i born out into this world. fucking god , go die la hor or make me disappear in this world.

30 October 2009

wa so long no update le. so freaking bad mood, will my day come back? i don think so but i hope so. but i know wont be back de.
i ask myself this question again and again repeat and repeat again.
do i look strong infront of friend ?
its been so long i am still like that.
Soon going 2010year . Why cant my mindset be more happiness. i hope i can go back to the imm giant working place to start all over again.

10 October 2009

Now is 5.41am yet i still blog.

This sentences i write to u 'we stead we break is my fault, and you don already love me why i mus continue love u til now' cause i just cant let it go but i have to. why i make myself til so xingku. At first i thought i and u stead together we will last long more den your ex but im wrong we are not even last long den ur ex. you said yourself a failure but i dont tink u are failure cause im the one who create it, cause you alway concern care love me but im jus a fucker and you are not failure im the one is the most useless stupid failure and im jus a passerby to you afterall last few months we had been together. I thought we can be forever then all couples and you told me you also thought we can be together forever but who changed so fast? ANSWER is me im changed. im changed to no longer last time care concern abt u liao. but i regreted!! so what if i regreted . time oso cannot turn back . I had to accept the fact what. and you of cause easy say those sentences to me cause the painful and mei ren yao is me lehs not you. YA last time you painful so now retribution liao right i now suffering more painful then your last time.

i think my this post not emo already hor?.
hais why i go eastcoastpark! why i stay bukitbatok! why am i born out!

07 October 2009

Hmm why my mind just cant stop thinkin of YOU. its already been 5mths le lehs. knn sia.
you easy forgot me cause you maybe got guy jio you or you admire someone already but me lehs , or you already got boyfriend le. but me lehs FUCK UP. angry myself hate myself.
its already quite long le yet i still cant give up on you and erase you at my mind. Mani of my friend tell me Cheerup dont wei le yi ge nu hai sad not worth it. i told them you think i wan sad de mehs? i keep tell myself when is my deadline of die. i should just die and vanish in this stupid world. LOVE is just a hurtful danger thing den anything else. My blog my post all is emo emo emo. When will be the Day that bright me up. Full of darkness i having now. So scary lor. I jus being so noob sia. already 5months le lehs!!

03 October 2009

What i had been doin this few days . The memory of the memory is still kept following my mind where ever i go. why cant i jus erase you in my stupid bastard brain? is so fkin hard to erase did u noe that? i know yours is easy but nevermind la , never blame u at all cause is my fault. hais without u is really killing me like hell. i jus hope when i sleeping you are alway pei-in me in my dream and i of cause don wanna wake up til i die. why my blog alway so emo sadness? cause i just cant pull up myself, i cant make myself stronger as before as last time. i have been telling myself smile where ever im sad or anyhow go thinking. but the tears is the stronger den my smile. i know you wan me continue my life. okies i will continue de. but if got something happen to me then is too bad. dont know why when some other people is sad or what i can confront them but i jus cant do it for myself from secondary school til now. i know my life is full of darkness right now but i just have to carry on wif my stupid life.
My life is really dam sucks lor, still got Body problem but i wont say out what problem. why the tjw is no longer like last time joker or what . Now emo-ing is my best job to do then joker . hais. who can help me T_T i really dam xingku la!!! i keep feel wanting to sms you but i keep telling myself dont, is so hard to tell myself but i did it. never mind don worry about me (: hehes

23 September 2009

Wow so fast 23 September, time passes pretty fast. hahas. life is jus so bored when you have nothing to do. jus like me lor so bored til now come in post. hahas.
Wait my NS til wanna phe chek liao -_-
nth to post about it . hahas. takecare guys.


EH Friend u finally out liao. hahas grats.

21 September 2009

Now is 21 september , 7.10am in the morning. i still posting. I cant sleep, cause got some problem i having right now, the problem is my mind is jus cant stop thinkin about her. i know she alr fade and give up but i jus totally cant stop thinkin abt her. i stupid right people don love mi le i still love her and miss her. hahas (: , nvm la i don give a damn. only me sad what not her sad so i don worry. cos she happi jiu hao. i noe she already take me as a invisble and bo chup me liao. its okies. my mind so painful right now like a aeroplane or explosion in my head right now. but i don wan to stop the postin. still got many things to write.

dono how mani i post alr from dono when til now all sadness emo words. cause i alr say i will be a emo and bad boy le. so my postin i guess will keep on emo til don't know when.

i still wondering when is my NS. if next year i go in NS is two years and a half months. i don't know is truth anot, all my friends said one. nvm two years and a half months lor.
hahas Toh JiAwEi u are jus so stubborn den all among your friends. MY LIFE NOW IS JUS SO LIFELESS GUILTY AND REGRET!!

17September to 18September

hello all people i had not been update recently.
i jus had to say something in my blog, those who see my blog and dono what am i talkin so please don ask. if those who know den good for u.

if i never say out, the situation will be the same as last time. if i say out the situation also will be like last time. HOW AM I GOING TO FACE THIS THING AGAIN, FEEL SO GUILTY. Wat the hell la. this year 2009 i keep guilty and regret what i have done, i told myself can i jus end my life? the guilty and regret will carry on and carry on wif mi for my whole life. the pain tat i carry is so painful. my mind still got her somemore. GOD FUCK U LA.!! JUS KILLED ME IN ONE SHOT LA.

03 September 2009

now is 9am i still posting and after for so long i finally update now. This few days i had been doin some foolish things. but i will still keep it inside my heart and mind and keep on facing the problem after i have received it. every single night after we break up, my mind my heart automically emo and negative thinking. i will try not to go fan ai ni animore and ever le. nobody will know what im thinking so ok la i will ren zu myself mo mo de cheng shou. wont harass u wont disturb u til u wanna meet me or wanna sms me or what ba.

Hello People how life ? ask u all ar. Joker buangstun reali fun? but i don tink so. i will try my best change in this months.

THIS YEAR 2009 IS MY SUPER DAM SUAY YEAR, dono what i do is alway WRONG, GUILTY and REGRET. hope tis year faster over and reali start a new year. hope she faster find her new boyfriend and really hope she will be more happi wif her boyfriend. Those who be her Boyfriend is so Lucky. she is really a nice girl i said. btw on 29August2009 i saw a girl which i don expect to see it when she jus appear infront of me at Cine. and go pool i saw a girl jus look like you around percent 95%. hais. hope you will faster get over it and erase our past and our mermory. good luck in findin a new boyfriend. Commit suicide is really my lover i guess. i had nth to do animore. jus nw quarrel wif my dad so dam jialat. dont worry ba. i will be fine.

btw sorri for making u alway so late sleep. sorri for making nightmare. sorri about ur parents concern abt me. sorri for what i did in the past and few days. wont go do it again animore.

10 August 2009

Hello all im back.
=] now is 7.06am and yet i haven sleep yet.
To GOD: God help me things, if u wanna punish me oso can but jus help me tis and i had spoken to u alr. thanks =]

TINKING YOU ALWAY.
LOVING YOU ALWAY.
you all shld noe who im refer to and u oso shld noe i refering to u!

25July2009

WOOHOO 25july2009 around 4am midnite i jus make a new refreshment of myself. HAHAS~ guess what? u all sure dono what i had done to myself =D woohoo. cos i had done something to myself lalalalalalala SURPRIZE HAHAS DON TELL U ALL~ GO GUESS BA =]
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25July2009

Time passes by so fast. one shot i already goin 19th already in about 22more days. but my relationship is reali sucks man. when can i end up my fuckin life? problem reali having mani le lor! when i keep lookin up the sky at the night, i keep watchin the star and tink tjw cheerup and smile please. i reali tryin to be strong but i jus cant do it. somemore i listen to song to relax myself but i still cnt stop thinkin those thing happen to me. hope i can go other country alone and spent my life there alone quietly and peacefully.

See the time i still posting. hais cause i cant sleep.

25July2009

Everyday i keep thinkin the same problem plus i reflect myself but i jus cant stop myself from thinkin it. it reali hurts me alot. wanna shout out oso cannot. feel like taking one knife to stab my heart everytime or jumpdown building or kena bang by the car. but why i never did that? cause i just cant stop thinkin and loving you. i wanna keep seeing u and huggin u tightly. one day the rainbow will appear infront of us. u jus wait and see and i keep lookin at our picture hais. really hope i can die as soon as possible. so that i will not longer exist in tis world. pray i die faster. reali very xing ku sia. i reali regret what i did last time. why i being born out!! why!! i already stress about my some of my parts problem liao. yet still got other problem. GOD just kill me la!! i rather give my life to those who wanna live in tis world. i reali wanna noe why i born out!! summore i was number 5th child in family ... my parents should stop at number 4th child lor! hais xi bei tong ku sia T_T.

21July2009

Hahas as usual im will be doin the same things as last time.
All friends in NS . miss them sia. hey guys don tink i gay hor. cos they are all my best buddy i ever had. hey to all couple. try to cherish ur relationship. don be like me. those who read my blog hope u all will be loving and hope u all will happi alway wif eachother. CHERISH ,RESPECT AND COMMUNICATE is important. COUPLE PLEASE CHERISH FROM THE BEGINING TO OLD HAIR. i write til here le. if got more details from my mind i will write it down again.
thanks for reading

From TohJiAwEi.

Hello everyBody

WOOHoo im back , kinda busy everydays, today free and now reali dam sian den post, sick for dono how mani days le, but still alright. ALL MY NS FRENZ GO IN DON GET CONFINEMENT IF NOT I DAM BORED DE LEHS, LOLS.